I still remember the moment—standing alone in the forested shadows of Angkor Wat at dawn, with tears silently tracing paths on my cheeks as the sun unfolded its golden wings above the canopy. I had come seeking solace, an escape from broken promises and the suffocating ache of loss, but the world seemed indifferent, wrapped in ancient stones and tangled roots.
The forest whispered around me—a delicate layering of birdcalls, murmuring breezes, and distant chants. The temple walls, worn and moss-clad, felt like compassionate witnesses, but even they couldn’t heal the fracture in my chest. As light filtered through tall strangler figs, their roots braided around pillars like a protective embrace, I clutched at the hope that nature—time itself—might still care.
I had left behind everything in the U.S.—a life I couldn’t mend after heartbreak. Here, in the dappled forest at Angkor Wat, grief had company: ancient pain, the slow decay of empires, and the memory of prayers whispered long before I was born.
I sank onto a mossy step, heart pounding, and the image of my past flooded me—shared laughter, broken vows, the echo of “I’m sorry” undelivered. I closed my eyes, and in that hush, I felt a breath—not my own. A soft exhalation of air, laden with forest scent, as if the spirits of time were telling me to breathe, even when light didn’t answer.
When I opened my eyes again, the temple courtyard glowed with a fragile light. A lone monk appeared in the frame of an archway, silhouette brother to my solitude. He lifted a hand in greeting; no words were exchanged, but I understood. Healing is not forgiveness. It’s rain seeping into cracked stone. It’s a root reaching through ruin.
I stood and followed him deeper into the temple, where the carvings—gods looming, apsaras frozen mid-dance—felt less like silent hallmarks and more like kindred souls, each enduring a fall, yet still standing.
I breathed in the ancient air mixed with frangipani and damp earth, and a single tear fell—not of sorrow, but acceptance. The sun hadn’t ignored me. It simply came when it was ready. And so was I.